Saturday, June 20, 2009

Corporate Giving


I don't know about you, but whenever I go to the supermarket, Vons or Pavillions, they always ask me to give to a charity, usually to fight some disease. "Would you like to make a small donation to ...?" they ask. "Would you like to round up your change to give to...?" I'd like to say, "Would you like give a small donation to the Mister Earl Foundation?" or "Can I round down my change so I can afford...?"

They often have a large bottle of soda in front of the checker with a note on it that says something like, "If our checker fails to ask you to donate to pancreatic cancer, you get this bottle of soda free." What they don't tell you is that the bottle of soda causes pancreatic and several other cancers.

They say that one of the best ways to combat prostate cancer is, well, to keep using the prostate as much as possible. The other day the checker at Vons asked, "Would you like to make a small donation to fight prostate cancer?" "I gave last night," I said.

23 comments:

Vanda said...

You are up early (late?) Mr. Earl.

ben wideman said...

Wow, that is too funny.

Cafe Pasadena said...

Sounds like you're gonna incorporate as a 501(c)3: The Mr Earl Benevolent Home for Loose Change.

Fadhli said...

hahaha... funny...

altadenahiker said...

Sounds like your foundation is already in place.

Wayne said...

Now you've got me wondering what's in it for the supermarket. Are they taking a cut?

altadenahiker said...

No Wayne, I know exactly what it is because I've worked in that general PR area before.

The CEO or CFO is on the board of some over-arching charity. (United Way, for example). So employees get browbeaten into either contributing or soliciting donations.

It's an ego thing.

Mister Earl said...

It seems to be a policy of Safeway, which owns Vons and Pavillions, to have these charity campaigns. They don't talk about matching funds or anything so I'm not sure if they are doing that. They are certainly raising funds for worthy causes, but I'm not sure I like being asked to donate by a major corporation, or being asked to "round up" my purchase. How do others feel?

Lynne's Somewhat Invented Life said...

Oh, you dog. Did she get it?

Vanda said...

The tricky thing about these donations, that you never know what percentage actually goes to the charity.

Mister Earl said...

If you give to the Mister Earl Foundation, Vanda, I guarantee that 100% of the money goes to Mister Earl!

Cafe Pasadena said...

As long as it doesn't go to anyone named Ron.

Laurie said...

This is hilarious!

altadenahiker said...

This is your conscience speaking. Time for another post. Quit laying your foundation.

Virginia said...

I love it when Wal Mart won't let regular charities set up a card table in front but let some bogus group that only states something like, "Give to the poor! " FOR THE LOVE! Mister E, I think we're kindred spirits. Keep it up.
V
PS Give till it hurts, Mr. E.

Mister Earl said...

Hey conscience, how come you gave me computer problems? I gave till it hurt, but it hurt my computer.

altadenahiker said...

If you have a virus, you're in august company.

Unseen Rajasthan said...

Fantastic and funny too !! Sorry for the long silence but now i am back..See you soon,,,Thanks

pasadenaadjacent said...

would you like fries with that?

Tash said...

Paper or plastic or ... do you bring your own?
This is the best outcome of them pestering us all the time.

You read all of Hardy Boys in one summer??!? Impressive.

Shanna said...

Funny all right Mr. E. and maybe they are a bit off base.

Ever heard of The March of Dimes?

If not, let's talk.

West Coast Grrlie Blather said...

How is it possible that the recent chill in certain parts of the Pasadena blogosphere has reached into the depths of South Pasadena and this very blog? More tales of prowess and conquest---stat!

West Coast Grrlie Blather said...

WV: luriaed, brati